“If a warthog forgot what it was doing while it was running away from a lion, it would get eaten. So how would you know it forgot what it was doing? It's hardly going to be discussing it later with his warthog mates down the pub. "Oh yeah, blimey, what am I like? I was scarpering this afternoon, and I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing. I'd forget my own head sometimes..." I dunno, unreliable on hedgehogs, dubious on honey badgers, and now highly unlikely on warthogs…”
This from Anonymous aka The Waunch aka Mr Flowers over the weekend. Wrong Mr W. If a warthog has no memory, then he would be going to a new pub every night (or so her would think). He would not have any friends to have a drink with until he had met them, and would then have to re-introduce himself to them every time his memory clocked off, which – if I am to believe what I was told – is approx every 15 seconds. Afternoon? He is only just capable of remembering the last thing he said, and only then only long enough for him to forget it. So hold on the highly unlikely attacks dude. At least until we have sat a warthog down and interviewed him. (Which I assume would be a pretty laborious process, unless we could find a warthog that can read, so we could show him the notes of what he had just said.)
Speaking of memories, I forgot to tell you that while in Kenya I found myself standing next to Tracey Emin at a beach bar. The temptation to say something was pretty ferocious, but for once I managed to keep my gob shut and left her in peace. (She was also surrounded by some of the least pleasant people I have ever seen. mrs househusbandnot came into the bar a few minutes after me, and reported that she had never felt quite so assessed and dismissed by so many people so quickly in her life. Real eurobeachtrash. [Them. Not mrs hhn.] Don’t know what our Tracey was doing hanging out with them.)
In other news, it is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year today. It is working so far…
the ongoing saga of pretending to be a house husband in the new millennium
Where's Vinderama?
5 comments:
I actually have a picture by Emin of meerkats that she drew for me - its crap - how much do you think it'd be worth.
I find her very unpleasant to be honest. A crack kid made good.
As for the warthogs, are you crazy, they have memories like elephants. The person who told you that is a big fibber. Indeed, they are hardly goldfishlike at all.
If they were so forgetful, they wouldn't know where to go to eat, whether they should run around with other warthogs etc ad nauseum unless they had done it 15 seconds before.
I have an artist friend who reports Ms Emin once saying "All it is is trying to do something that will shock Saatchi enough into buying it".
Well here's a turnip for the books - I agree with Madam B, both about the awful Emin, and about warthog memory. Of course they have a decent memory. (As do goldfish, incidentally.) They wouldn't be able to operate at all without one. So, sorry, hhn, you're still residing in the 'unreliable animal witness' section. And who is this 'Waunch' you've confused me with?
do you think that Kenyan safari rangers like to have a laugh amongst themselves? I do, possibly one of their games is to see how many gullible whity tourists they can take the piss out of by saying outlandish things? - just a thought
hey jonah, it was actually a fellow tourist who told hhn about warthogs...
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