Thank you for your various concerns about our welfare while we were steaming around Kenya after Xmas. Somewhat predictably we were fairly well protected from any violence in our host's comfortable expat home, and or being ferried around in nice 4 by 4s. We did drive through a burning roadblock and got eye-balled by an un-uniformed man who was holding a Kalashnikov*. (There is something disarming lawless about a man with a gun without a uniform.) And we saw ominous columns of black smoke rising up out of one of the shanty towns we drove past in Nairobi. But nothing any more John Simpson than that I'm afraid. There was an air of menace, and real disappointment about the derailed democratic process. And mrs househusbandnot was denied any g and ts on our safari because the tonic had not made it through the roadblocks. And someone borrowed my phone to call his family to make sure they were alive. But nothing more than that...he says, neatly summing up another whitey experience in Africa. (I was disappointed by the lack of a decent cigar humidor storage system in Lamu too.) (Those of you who know the whereabouts of my column for that US development site can check my serious thoughts on our experiences, and the implications of what is going on out there.)
Re the whole safari experience, it was quite magical being driven around the Masai Mara. The unexpected stars of the show were the warthogs. I am told that warthogs have such a short memory that they often stop running away from lions etc half way towards their freedom. We saw a whole bunch of stuff, although failed to see the elusive rhino and leopard. (There is something quite surreal about looking for animals that have spent the last few thousand years figuring out how not to be seen.) There was even a crocodile in the river below our camp site - which was cool. We were accompanied on our regular trips out to the game park by a random selection of other guests: a bumbling Old Etonian who spoke fluent Swahili; John and Anna from Clapham [enuff said]; and a great Ned Flanders lookalikey from Alaska. My favourite comedy moment was a van full of Dutch people pulling up in front of us and one of them - in a perfect impersonation of Goldmember from Austin Powers - shouting "Look. A lion chasing a cheetah. Look. Over there".
I guess you have either done a safari, and know what I am talking about, or thinking it all sounds a bit naff. It wasn't. It makes you think there may be a God. And having a lion or an elephant or a huge buffalo checking you out makes you wish you had done a little more praying to Him too. I am sorry to report that the elusive honey badgers remained just that, despite my requests to see them. (Probably all in Nairobi looking for the next riot.)
A lot more to say about Kenya, but will keep it for the next hhn post.
* Random hhn fact: I have been to Mikhail Kalshnikov's home town in Russia.
the ongoing saga of pretending to be a house husband in the new millennium
Where's Vinderama?
5 comments:
If a warthog forgot what it was doing while it was running away from a lion, it would get eaten. So how would you know it forgot what it was doing? It's hardly going to be discussing it later with his warthog mates down the pub. "Oh yeah, blimey, what am I like? I was scarpering this afternoon, and I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing. I'd forget my own head sometimes..." I dunno, unreliable on hedgehogs, dubious on honeybadgers, and now highly unlikely on warthogs. Welcome back hhn.
Mate, everyone and his dog have been to Mikhail Kalashnikov's home town. I actually spent a summer in Kurya a couple of years back while I worked as a ptarmigan. You'll have to do better than that.
Welcome back hhn. And by the way, I shagged Mikhail Kalashnikov's son. Pump action I can tell you.
May I humbly apply to join the illustrious polo team of your regular readers? Your Kenya post, and the fact that it has started to piss with rain every time the put-upon folk over there try to gather together and protest their injustices, makes me think that if there is a God then He appears to be not only a honey badger but also a Kibaki supporter. More please...
Zabadoobee, where you bean all my life - you could be mny hiney badger any day of the week. I could be your little wart hog too :)
Post a Comment