He - like me - works from home, and we got ourselves into a big old self-validating lather about how little work actually gets done in real offices, and about the three or four concerted hours he and I do at home adding up to a whole lot more than the 28 minutes or so of labour the average office worker gets done every day in the average office in between:
- lunch breaks
- coffee breaks
- discussions with Nick from Finance at water cooler about what a tosser boss is
- discussions with boss in his office about Nick from Finance's lack of team spirit
- footling around on the web
- discussions with colleagues about last departmental meeting, planning next departmental meeting, preparing presentation of self justification for next departmental meeting etc.
- reading househusbandnot
- robbing of stuff from stationary cupboard
- diversity training
- internal email discussion about Ugly Betty
- internal email discussion about who is going to get a cake for Petra from HR for her birthday even though she was rude to Jackie from Office Services' boyfriend at the Xmas party
- posting a comment on househusbandnot
- getting to know Outlook Express properly
- long playing around in kitchen infusing fruit tea drink
- looking around office blankly
- checking to see if the company still has an internet block on Amazon
- checking to see if anyone has commented on your comment on househusbandnot
- thinking really really long and hard for a reason to go and bother your boss aka remind him you exist
- thinking about what to have for lunch tomorrow and whether or not you should really take a proper break at lunchtimes rather than just working the whole day through because no-one else really understands how much work you have to do here
- sending another comment to househusbandnot
- picking nose
- trying not to look at (tntla) bloke from IT's arse/tntla girl from press office's cleavage
- etc etc etc etc etc etc.
So we were rather pleased with our non-in-office productivity. Mind you - and I wish I was making this up - I have been looking at a diary entry in my diary for a few days which says Do Summit and trying to figure out if I had a conference call about a summit or a meeting or something. It just dawned on me that I wrote it in the other day when I was bored 'working' at home, and it meant Do Something rather than just sit around.
16 comments:
You forgot to mention the correcting of typographical errors and grammatical infelicities on hhn, which can take hours out of the working day.
you also forgot flirting ...
I also forgot to mention the keen anticipation of being hhn's 5,000th visitor which one of you will be any minute now...
...expect hhn-related gift if it is you.
Hurrah, did I get it, do you need an acceptance speech. I have one ready
Me again, do I get one of those oscr packages - you know the several thousand dollar ones that OI have to pay tax on?
No, but let's hear the speech anyway
Yes, yes, yes...but what about y'day's commenter David? Am I alone in having accepted his implicit invitation to check him out? Turns out he's well into conspiracy theories and organized crime and has many books published on these subjects to attest to that fact. Which is fine. But if he's scared about retribution from the criminal fraternity and god-knows-who-else - which he clealy is - why does he publish a picture of himself along with his comments? I suspect the answer is that the bloke with the scary hair and eyepatch isn't actually him but some dead bloke who's image is being utilized to set the ninja mafia on the wrong trail.
I also suspect that David has other reasons for random blogging. This is my ( conspiracy) theory anyway. Evidence shows that he left a comment on a blog called Taming the Tiger. So touched was the author of this blog by David's kindness ( 'That was a wonderful bit of description' ) that a subsequent entry used David's name as its title. And the meat of that entry? To paraphrase: 'David is my new favourite writer - I'm going to read everything by him I can get my hands on.' David has been returning the compliment by telling Taming the Tiger author how moved he is by her writing, although his best response to her blog reads simply: 'Was it body parts'.
I'm not entirely sure where this coment is leading but I'd rather not go alone. Please, someone hold my hand.
It gives me great pleasure to be here before all of you today, my peers, my inspiration and my loved ones.
I know that I have had a lot of luck, but truly, this luck has come about because of your help and guidance over the years.
As you can see from my dress, which has a rip from bottom to top and exposes me panties like, my luck has generally been made upon the couches of you good, good people. Without your prodding and selfless shagging, I wouldn't have got to where I am today.
I thank you all from the bottom of my clevage.
Bloke who, if you are so scared I'd be happy to hold it for you ...
So Madame B is back to her vulgarities. Personally, I am deeply pleased not to have to see her 'clevage' [sic]. HHN, you should put her in touch with the guy with the eye patch. They could run off to somewhere without internet access together.
Anon - very gentlemanly of you not to mention all my typos. I suspect you realized they were only made due to an appalling attack of nerves...
Dear Anon,
Are you teasing me?
Blokewho, I only hold hhn to high typographic standards because he's supposed to be a communications professional. The rest of us mere mortals can write any way we like. And if I started trying to clean up other peoples' copy, I'd be stuck with Madam B's stuff all day long...
Be still, my beating heart...
Swoon
Anon, I have been lying here starkers with legs akimbo for the last 14 hours and get the feeling that you're not going to turn up let alone come.
What is it with you guys!
Post a Comment