a) Gin really does clean diamonds really well
b) Pigs are not clean
c) Mick Jagger really is too spooky to look at nowadays. He looks like George Harrison's ghost
d) Is it really true that honey badgers are the most ferocious animals in the world? How do they measure it anyway?
e) Never trust anyone who says "Trust me" or "I have an open door policy" or "I like feedback"
f) Anyone who comes through from another carriage while the train is moving is almost certainly 150% nuts
g) What has happened to Prince Edward?
h) Printers suck (the machines not the people)
i) That thing about getting into the duvet cover to change it if you are on your own doesn't work
j) When I was young, they had a thing on Tomorrow's World about how you could eat your baked beans off a CD and it would still work afterwards. You lie. Just looking at a CD makes it scratch and fail to play
k) Tattoos rock, and tattoos suck
l) That thing about putting a spoon in a bottle of champagne doesn't work either
m) My prediction for 2007 about poetry being the new thing on the block is coming true - and it is only just February
n) The Edge remains the most overrated guitarist in the world, ever, forever, and now and I have found what I was looking for
o) "According to some scientists" does not make something true
p) Anyone who posts a comment to a blog is probably: nuts, single, stoned, employed to do so, wishes they had their own blog but hasn't got round to it yet
q) Constant updates - itunes, Google, Blogger, travel cards, theories on the origins of man etc - make like more rather than less complicated
r) One time - at band camp - I got bitten really hard by a stag beetle. It remains one of the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. (Think on't Mr Harold Oney Badger.)
s)Snakes and sharks are more scared of us than we are of them? I don't think so
t) Has Demi Moore's husband ever actually been in a real movie?
u) How come they have still not taken up Brian Eno's idea about generating energy from treadmills and stuff from gyms?
v) Are people who wear bowties nobbers before they start wearing bowties, or do they become so when they elect to wear them?
w) Rez is the greatest PS game of all time
x) Aubergines are fundamentally inedible
y) Styx's wife told me the other night that she once secured Brotherhood Of Man's autographs
z) (Brian Eno again) We have all become editors
the ongoing saga of pretending to be a house husband in the new millennium
Where's Vinderama?
29 comments:
a) never compile a pointless list as a blog entry
Not me, hhn, honest.
No it was me. Not him. Got it. Not him. Me. Yes. Pointless bloody list. Can't even get a broccoli in. What is this blog coming to
Its better than that one about vlogs and pogs and togs. That one really sucked. And he's right about the Edge too.
I concur with the twatterjack fellow. A random list of things shows an inability to structure intelligent thought into a proper sentence, or, a lack of respect for your readers! Which is it?
Shape up or ship out mr hhn. You are on a slippery slope.
We readers expect engagement, wit, incredulity, dynamics, vision, wisdom, humorous anecdotes, decisions etc ..... not a random list
I shall go and munch on myself and expect to return an apology
Agreed Anon, hhn's correct about n) The Edge. Right too about a,b,e,h,j,n,o,q,s,t,u,v and z. Absolutely spot on as regards f and p as well. However,regarding k) - they only suck; l) - the spoon has to be silver, darling, silver; m)there are still twice as many people writing poetry as read it. And most of them should stop; r) what the fuck is 'band camp'? ( I just know I should be jealous); w) ditto 'Rez' ( but without the jealousy); x) aubergines are Simon Hopkinson's favourite vegetable and when I follow his recipes mine too; y) can you really 'secure' an autograph? ( Well done Mrs Styx - you rock! Well, you MOR, anyway...).
I see my alphabet's a bit shorter than hhn's...Oh, yeah, there was something about Ponce Edward. Why the fuck?! And something about changing bed linen which hhn's also wrong about but all I could think of writing was something impolite concerning the inadvisability of larger folk climbing into their duvet covers.
Damn. Still a couple short.
I cant stand Feng Shui - what's that all abart then
someone said there was a free voucher on this site, that's why I came.
Where is the effin link to the free snow machine then.
If Madame B wont tell you who he/she is or what he/she looks like,despite picture being sent. Then to relieve some of us from his/her usual anecdotes, why dont you recommend all your contributors guess what he/she (not convinced it's a she) looks like, age, profile, mental state etc.
Then Mrs B can comment on wether they are warm/cold etc, even better she can send u a photo then you can tell us! whaddyathink?
All pointless references to vegetables punishible of course.
I checked out the new website by the way... thats alot of work (good too) like the diary bit nice touch.
oh, this sounds super fun anon -
n) Controversial!
And the winner of "Most Overrated Lead Guitarist in a Silly Hat with a Pointless Single-Word Nickname is ........................................................
Slash from Guns & Roses"
Styx loves U2, Styx loves U2! Spread it! Styx thinks The Edge is ace.
I guess EDGE is a bit more rockdude than Dave Evans. Like Bono better than Paul Hewson etc. Of course EDGE is also some awful wrestling git from US.No relation though. Didnt edge marry a belly dancer or did i imagine it
Achtung, blokey!
The Edge is not Ace. Ace Frehly is in Kiss. I thought you'd have known that....
Who's the lead guitarist in Styx?
Slash ROCKS! This is a FACT. The Edge SUCKS! This is also a FACT. Tommy Shaw was the guitarist from Styx. He is DULL.
Lists are a good idea, look at all the comments, but, best of all is the photo
Feeling out of my depth amongst all these Mojo-magazine-reading, Dad-rock types, I'm off to listen to the missus's Brotherhood of Man LPs (did she tell you that we met at a Brotherhood of Man fanclub convention? Halcyon days!).
So hhn gets a little bit of a vibe going on and then what? Along comes 'Bad' in his clay-caked boots: 'Hmm, nothing to say I'm afraid. But it seems that others do....mmm...yes...anyway...well done you...now where was I..? Matron!....I say....Matron! Bad girl, where are you when I need you? ( Will there be soldiers with my eggy-weggys, Matron? ).
I too think lists are a good idea - a BLOODY good idea actually.
I don't know, Goodfellow, I think one should be cautious. I mean, what sort of lists are you suggesting?
Well, Hullo...
Well, Hullo...
Meanwhile, back at the awards ceremony ...
"Most overrated guitarist in a silly hat working under his real name is .... .... .... .... ...
Carlos Santana!"
What a ****!
Wooo, mine was just a quick glance bloke.... whoever you are. You seem to know where I live. I trust it's not too near to you. Now for that egg and a cup of tea....
pine pantry/ enter the dragon? only best wishes to bad.
Styx, dude, you're really pushing the boat out on the getting-things-entirely-wrong front. Carlos Santana and His Mystical Fingers represents the high-water mark of popular musical culture, a fact which is actually carved in stone. So cease and desist from your silliness.
Not surprised you want to stay anonymous if you admit to liking Santana ..... Don't tell me, you also love Eric "Slowhand" Clapton?
The only thing more likely to ruin a good song than a guitar solo is a bloody saxophone solo (e.g. Clarence f***ing Clemons). This is a DOUBLE FACT WITH KNOBS ON!
Styx, thank god you said something I can agree with, about Clarence Clemons, because I thought I was going to have to deal with you savagely over your Carlos non-appreciation. And don't get started on Clapton: you don't have a license to go there.
Voltzy's having a good season, eh?
Volzy playing great but 0-2 against Colin's lot not good
Anyway, "Slowhand" and "Mystic Fingers" sound like techniques I shall enjoy adding to my, um, "repetoire"...... I bet I'll have a similar expression to Carlos and Eric, too!
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