The Hollyoaks Years

Re the 'Since you got married, hhn, have you managed to wean yourself off your habit of frotting* on the sofa in front of Hollyoaks?' comment.

[hhn enters into daydream mode]

...Ah, the Hollyoaks years. You know/knew me too well. Nothing to do on Saturday morning, other than crawl to the sofa with a bacon sandwich and watch the goodly gorgeous young people of Chester getting off with each other. Although when I was watching it there was far too much of a focus on that storyline about the bloke having to bring up a small child. (I never did work out why he was having to bring the kid up, of if he was the father, the uncle, the godfather or whatever. ) An idle Saturday morning day dreaming about moving out of London to Chester if all the girls really looked like that, and were that easy. And a vague post mortem of the Friday evening, out with a few people from work, getting drunk in a - looking back on it - really rather unpleasant bar off Spitafields where the highlight of the evening was trying to stop the drunk city boys getting too eager ith the women from your office. But also realising that that was what the girls wanted, rather than hanging out with old gits like me. And after these idle thoughts, trying to work out what to do for the rest of the weekend once all my friends on Hollyoaks had acted out their slices of life for me. Swim? Nah. Shopping? Nah? Watch more TV? Ah the choices were endless, and endlessly endful. At the time it seemed normal. But, God it was depressing and pointless. I was suspended in a non-life, too old to be watching Hollyoaks for any other than prurient reasons. And too immature to do anything about it...........Sorry. Hollyoaks? Hollyoaks? Never heard of it mate. Is is some sort of game show?

* Incidentally, I googled frotting, and first search result started: 'A favourite of sex-starved Japanese businessmen on the sub-way. I caught him frotting the fridge once, it was just wrong.' I didn't dare follow the link. Speaking of links, did you see the Google ad generated by yesterday's post? 'Who Is My Wife? What Is Adultery And Fornication? Discover Your True Life With TheWay' And a link to another site I didn't want to follow. Ahh, the internet, and all those links in our lives Google is trying to create and develop, to mould us into the lives they want us to lead. Don't you love it? (A while ago I started writing a story about someone who lived their lives by their horoscope from a really crappy tabloid. And then that comedian Dave Gorman did a show based on the same idea - bastard. Maybe someone should do a show - or a piece of research - based on what Google would like them to do next, starting with a search for something like `What Does It All Mean' and their first and last names. { I just tried this btw. Tres dull.})