Me 'n' mrs househusbandnot were up north this weekend. And I can report that it is still grim. Driving across the edge of Crewe I spied some graffiti '1987 Bitch'.
What does that mean? 1987 was a bitch of a year? 1987 was the year that Bitch really really wants us to think about. A reminder to Bitch that 1987 was when it all happened, or didn't, or should have, or will (if it was written before 1987)? Just a tag? ("Yeah, my graffiti tag, it's 1987 Bitch. Cool, huh?") Bitch in 1987 more than you did in 1986? Just a general hello from Bitch with a mention of when they stopped by with their can of paint? V strange. Or not strange at all.
Anyway, up north was fun. (I was brought up outside Preston, so I feel I am a little bit northern - a fact that mrs hhn, who is genuinely from the north, regularly dismisses as a southerner's whimsy. [Before our first date, she sent me a text telling me she was firstly a woman and secondly a northerner.]) Although the food was relentlessly terrible. Gordon Ramsay (Ramsey? Ramsay? Can't be arsed to Google him.) should be up there on a train this morning seeking out some of the people who fed us while we were up there. We had to stop at a motorway service station on the way home to get something resembling something with fresh ingredients in it.
Best overhear while we were up north was "Yes, but that's owned by Linda Lusardi now isn't it?"
the ongoing saga of pretending to be a house husband in the new millennium
Where's Vinderama?
3 comments:
Bloody Southerners. Everybody and his whippet knows that 19-878-Itch is the phone number of Scabies-R-Us, the Liverpool-based chain of dermatologists.
Madam B here, why, why, why would anyone voluntarily go up north. At least you and the mrs are both northerners - procretaion with those in the south is forbidden, so keep your floppy bits and gashes to each other.
Best two overheards ever in a slightly gentrified working-men's club in Yorkshire (still cheap booze but with alternative comedy, on this occasion a lesbian comic, on the stage). From the Ladies' toilet: "She were right funny, she even made menstruation seem like a bit of a laugh". From the Gents': "If I've learned one thing today it's never to have a sausage, egg and bacon roll off the van outside B&Q ever again".
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