Wavers

I was reading somewhere yesterday that Nicolas Cage has a clause in his contract that you are not allowed to check out his receding hairline if you are on set with him. (This reminds me of one of my sister's theories about Elton John and Mick Jagger that they are so powerful that people just won't tell them when they are being uber bell ends. "A wig. Great look Elton. Very..er..wigtastic dude." "No Mick, you don't look at all ridiculous standing next to your girlfriend who is a foot and a half taller than you." etc.)

So I can see how people get to a place where they CAN make ridiculous demands upon other people just because they are famous, but...well I'd be cool, and only have a few quite reasonable expectations.

hhn film set wavers:

1) Anyone with a comb over to report to makeup/hairdressing immediately
2) No men under five foot ten to be taken seriously
3) (Absolutely) No euro trance/chill out music on set
4) Any white men with dreadlocks to be escorted off set immediately
5) Any white South Africans to be escorted off set immediately (White South Africans with dreadlocks to be deported to Wales immediately)
6) Everyone to wear a decent cologne/perfume of hhn's choice
7) Any warthogs to be given priority service at canteen
8) No tomatoes/comedy ties/people in trainers and suits/red pens on set at any time
9) hhn's swimming pool strictly out of bounds to anyone except hhn
10) That bloke who holds that long pole with the microphone with the fluffy cover to explain exactly what he is doing
11) hhn's trailer to be filled with fresh flowers at all times
12) No-one to tamper with big gold hologram star on door of hhn's trailer
13) No-one to approach hhn unless: 1) hot 2) female 3) armed with good animal stories, or good Etch A Sketch tips
14) Anyone with baseball hat on backwards (or forwards thinking about it) to report to security with white South Africans
15) When Prince arrives to discuss film soundtrack, tell him not to (*&^ with hhn's guitars when he is waiting in hhn's trailer