Just saw a bloke with officially the worst hairdo of all time. He was about 26, ginger and balding. His take on addressing (re-dressing?) the last two ailments had been to shave the back of his head, grow a turfy quiff at the front, and add medium sized sideburns which were a completely different colour (really orange) and texture (like astro turf) to the rest of his head hair. He looked like a monk and an orangutan's love child. (I am aware that three of my six readers are a bit touchy about the old bald deal, so I will not go on about it any more, but Mr Ginger really had put a lot of thought into his baldness, and made himself look like a complete zigoid. Mind you, I am currently sporting the sad middle-aged man grows his hair hairdo, a particular agenda that mrs househusbandnot has quite a lot to say about having just had a great new haircut herself.)
Speaking of hair, did I mention that I went to the Prince After Show gig on Saturday?
In other news, was watching Nigella Lawson's new show last night - I don't know what it is called, Nigella's Chocolate Knickers or something - and I got to thinking that she really must have signed a pact with The Devil. She is deeply untalented and unengaging but still keeps popping up for more. Actually, maybe her whole family got a Satan Family Reward Scheme.
Others who may well have taken this route to success by signing up with Old Red Fork Tail:
1) Ant and Dec
2) People who have organised the tube strike this week. (How do they get away with it again and again and again? My bus to work this morning was like trying to commute into Bombay.)
3) Those people who paint themselves gold or silver and stand still on the pavement. (When was that ever entertainment please? But people give them money.)
4) People who design computer printers. (They do not work, but we just keep blaming ourselves and buying new ones.)
5) Dr John (obviously)
6) David Walliams
7) The Pope (He has to doesn't he, so he and The Devil know the deal. Actually, maybe he signs a slightly different contract. More of a Memo Of Understanding with promises to mention each other at meetings, and no stealing each other's thunder at Easter and stuff.)
8) Whoever invented the sandwich. (As mentioned by %^& before the Prince gig the other night, sandwiches are just so not where it is at but we keep buying them and talking about them.)
9) Francis Bacon (although I reckon he was a bit pissed and didn't read the small print about being miserable all his life and having terrible hair days every day forever.)
10) And people who write musicals. ("Okay. Let me get this right. One soul, my soul, and all I have to do to become rich as buggery is to use four chords and get my mentally frail aunt to write a few lyrics about it being dark and then the sun coming out? Bring it on Dr D."
So there.
the ongoing saga of pretending to be a house husband in the new millennium
Where's Vinderama?
9 comments:
I couldn't agree more about the Tube strikers; they must have a pact with the devil to be able to hold London to ransom the way they are. The sooner they replace them all with intelligent squirrels the better. I mean, these people are construction workers, who work underground, for God's sake, not brain surgeons. Bring on spanner-wielding robots, I say. [Rant mode off]
Dear anon,
I'm going to tell mr Crow what you said - he'll peck your eyes out and make you walk to work for ever more
I'll admit that I used to think N. Lawson had some sort of charm when she first surfaced on tv but the first ep of her new prog stank. It looked as if it'd been dashed off in moments between more interesting jobs for all concerned. And it didn't make me want to cook or eat, not least of all cos the sight of N. Lawson Snr is enough to turn anyone's stomach. ( And how lazy to rope your own family in to the bland proceedings ).
"Whoever invented the sandwich." ??? Dude, you know who invented the sandwich - John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich. Did he sell his soul to the Devil? "Lord Sandwich was Postmaster General in 1768, Secretary of State in 1770, and again First Lord of the Admiralty from 1771 to March 1782. Despite the number of important posts that he held during his career, Sandwich's incompetency and corruptness inspired the suggestion that his epitaph should read: "Seldom has any man held so many offices and accomplished so little." So yeah, perhaps he did. Tosser.
so what have you been playing on Xbox??
We've already been thru' this some time ago, anon. The sandwich has been around since the first century...
Blokewho, hhn was talking about the inventor of the 'sandwich', not the inventor of the 'Rabbi Hillel the Elder'. But anyway, I'm off to Pret to get me a mixture of chopped nuts, apples, spices and wine with bitter herbs between two matzohs. Yum-yum.
Yeah, fair do's, anon. ( You realize that between us we might've hit upon a potentially HUGE food business idea? I can see the queues already. Or are they heading for the beardy bloke whose waving those manky fish and loaves about?)
Blokewho, the word on the street is that the beardy geezer has a really good loaf and wine connection, with access to practically unlimited supplies. It makes it very difficult to compete, what with his overheads being so low.
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