Office Life Not

Ahh, the busy office life. Trying to decide what to have for lunch, wearing matching socks, wondering if I can do a quick fart while the office is empty, snooping around the office for a hole punch (why do hole punches still exist in this day and age?), trying to think of something to go and talk to my boss about so she knows I am in, sitting in meetings (wondering when the world will end they are so boring), fart-arsing around with our head of finance about my tax status, trying to avoid going to get any water from the water cooler thing because I know it is empty and can't be arsed to put a new bottle on it, googling stuff, facebooking other stuff, checking my office mobile to see if I have missed any important calls, chewing gum, sending emails to everyone around the office about a meeting I have organised for tomorrow so they know I am in, tidying my desk tidy, trying (and failing) to have knowing IT chats with the head of IT, getting annoyed with my squeaking chair, wondering what time it is, getting a cold call about a lobbying service for the European Parliament, being told off by the girl on reception for using the wrong loo, eating sushi, picking my teeth, emailing mrs househusbandnot, waiting for mrs hhn to respond, taking completely random notes when talking to colleagues to try and freak them into thinking I am thinking in a better/more strategic/cleaner/fitter way than they are about the organisation we work for, listening to my boss talking about the difficulties of buying swimwear, trying to impress the younger members of staff by telling them I have a facebook account, emailing anyone...anything...that emails me (have bought four bottles of viagra this morning already), and wondering WHAT does it all mean.

I went to a meeting at the House Of Commons this morning. In theory - in my what does it all mean state - I should have been impressed with the seat of Government and all those important parliamentarians and policy brokers and lobbyists doing their thang. But they are just the same as us, just trying to get through the day having impressed their bosses and not been caught out picking their noses or searching for the six month birthday photos of that polar bear in the German zoo.

I went out to get my sushi just now, and it is all like a slowed down version of 28 Days/Weeks Later. We are all wandering around like zombies from home to office to water cooler to desk to boss's office to Pret A Manger to office to desk to water cooler to head of IT's desk to desk to stationery cupboard to desk to bus stop to home...

What does it all mean?