Picking up on Madame B and Anonymous's concern about whether or not my heart is still in househusbandnot, it is dear readers. It is just that being out there in the real world, with real people, and real stuff is so (really) dull.
Sitting here at home listening to my David Cassidy remastered CDs, surrounded by my stuff and life and hopes and dreams, I was full of things to talk about because...well, that was all there was to do. Out there in the real world all there is is metrosexuals eyeing up each others' summer suits, girls wearing very little, and all the rest of us trying to get from A to B and back again before anyone realises how nuts we are. It is not my heart. It is where my heart is during the day that is the problem.
Do you really want to hear about my bus ride to work? Do you really want to hear about what I had for lunch? (And, no sushi is not a sandwich, unless you are Japanese btw.) Do you really, really want me to make up a few gags about Nigerian traffic wardens? Have you heard the one about the white van driver who didn't pay his congestion charge? Laugh? I nearly came in my smart but casual trousers.
It is as big a surprise to me as it is to you people. There is nothing of interest going on out there. Here? Here, I didn't have any limitations or real worldness to measure anything against. Here, I could dream and fly and dream about flying. Here was where blogging was at. Out there. In the early summer dust and dirt and flurry of pigeons and people in purple jackets trying to force free newspapers into my sweaty paw, there is nothing to say that you don't already know. A three for one offer in Boots? Darn, I think I'm gonna wee with interest.
I'm hoping (and I suspect you are too) that I do pick up and find a pace to be of interest or amusement about working back in offices in London. But I am struggling at the moment. I don't fancy anyone in the office because I have eyes for only one L.A.D.Y.. My new job is pretty straight forward, and apart from the growling IT guy everyone seems pretty normal in the office. I am deliberately keeping a pretty even profile at work because I am cultivating a new office persona which is Normal Person Who Gets Things Done And Then Goes Home. As yet, they have not released any wild animals to snap up stragglers in the leafy square opposite my office. And even the central London junkies and beggars and tourists and tramps are such caricatures of themselves that I am looking at them with one eye with the other eye on the look out for Dom Jolly [sp? I can't be arsed to Google him.] to jump out of a telephone box and shout at me on his (so hilarious) enormous mobile phone.
Sorry, but I'm working with what I got, which - as yet - ain't much. I will go to work dressed as a fox tomorrow to liven things up. not...
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7 comments:
Now hhn. Let me sit you down and talk to you straight. This laisserfaire attitude is not good enough. You will reject your viewers.
You have just given a list of 100 things to write about any one of which would making an interesting blog. It is your opinion on things rather than what you do all day that counts. It could be the chair you are sitting on, the walk to the station anything. It is not the subject that is important. Don't you get it. It is your thoughts that count
Dude, while we all understand the sense of isolation and astonishing boredom that the daily working grind produces, it's turning you into a poet, man.
And Madam B, surprised as I am to say it, I couldn't agree with you more. Underneath everything, perhaps you're not as much of an idiot as you can seem.
How dare you, of course I am. I have a certificate to prove it
Thank you , fancy a shag?
How can I resist such a charming and romantic offer?
Burp, sorry you'll have to excuse me for a second, I've got some cheesy wotsits stuck in me back teeth and my bladders playing up something awful. Can you see the fir above my top lip - be honest ..... if you dare.
Ok, ready for a snog now. Coming to get you!
I sometimes think the hhn comments section is the online equivalent of Care in the Community.
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