(Bear with me on this one. It kind of pulls together at the end.)
1) Some friend of mine recently went on a 20 person cruise in The Galapagos Islands. It turned out that one of the other people on the cruise was..well, maybe the most famous actor in the world. On being told that they were off to visit blue-footed boobies on the first day of the cruise, he absolutely freaked and was saying "You are fuckin' shitting me man. Birds with blue feet. No fuckin' way man. That is too fucked up. Are they gonna look at me. Are you looking at me?"
2) I had supper recently with another very famous actor, who spent the evening interrogating everyone at the table: "So you go into an office every day of the week? And you wear a suit or jacket? And you work there all week? I can' believe it. It's just too bizarre."
So, in my rough and ready survey of two celebrities, it turns out that 100% of them have approx nought % perception of the real world, blue footed or suited or otherwise. (The Wauch btw claims to know and be loved by many celebrities, so he may like to offer his own star-fucking..sorry...particular insight into this one.)
So, how come everyone is so surprised that Britney has shaved her hair off? Deeply deeply muffled in her celebrity world, she must have about as much grip on real reality as a blue footed booby that has been dropped in a street in Manhattan. Why all the fuss? We should be surprised that it took her so long to get around to it? We should be celebrating her further lack of reality. Not complaining that she has lost it.
What's my point? I don't have one. (I was lying about this one coming together at the end.) I was just really grossed out by all those pictures of Ms Spears' hair for sale on ebay, and also a little depressed that it was the most yahooed story all this week.
I'm posting this last night, because I have a bunch of stuff to do tomorrow/today, and mrs househusbandnot is - in a deeply cool way - taking me out for my own Xmas office party lunch tomorrow/today because I complained about not getting to got to Zuma with her for hers. We are going to Zuma - where many celebs hang out - so I am going to shave my head, wear a suit, and paint my feet blue to freak them all out/make them feel at home.
the ongoing saga of pretending to be a house husband in the new millennium
Where's Vinderama?
4 comments:
Celebrities can fuck themselves, mostly, in my experience. But word reaches me from Celebrity Street that that the Spears character shaved her head because her ex-husband had threatened her with hair-based drug tests in their ongoing custody battle over the fate of their (sadly innocent) progeny. On a lighter note, Britney Spears is an anagram of 'errs by panties', 'presbyterians' and, perhaps best of all: 'best PR in years.' Just sayin', is all.
I believe the blue-footed actor of whom hhn writes is the same one a friend of mine encountered on a film-set not so long ago. Apparently he was the consumate professional when working, whilst off-set he was perfectly ego-less and undemanding. His only requirements were a cup of coffee first thing in the morning and a martini on wrap. He was quite particular about his martini but I don't think that counts as 'demanding'. He showed his assistant - a posh young man called Tom - exactly how he should prepare the cocktail and then, with a twinkle in his eye, said "Don't fuck it up, Tommy". You can picture it can't you?
I found this modesty quite heart-warming given the fame and acclaim that surrounds this brilliant actor. That is, until I was told that he lkes being shat on by young black women.
Excellent Holy Moly-style responses from Waunch and Blokewho.
Bid - who was on the cruise with Blue Foot Actor - has a great story about him (Bid) diving off the top sail of the boat, followed by Blue Foot Actor. Blue Foot Actor's son - a body builder - clambered up the sail, and then back down again deciding it was too big a dive. Being from Sheffield, Bid started taunting the son, telling him he was a pussy etc. Treading water in the deep blue sea next to Bid, Blue Foot Actor whispered: "Don't fuck with my son. Don't fucking fuck with my son."
why is no one allowed to say de niro?
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