What Next?

Earthquake in England? What next?

• An interesting sandwich in Pret A Manger?
• That whole Barack Obama and the honey badger and that missing tequila from the mini bar story ever being really explained fully?
• Bruce Forsyth admitting he is a c*&^?
• Will Self giving it all up and taking a job at the Inland Revenue in Wales?
• Posh Spice, Paris Hilton and Elton John `fessing up that they didn't read the small print on that contract they signed with the devil, and announcing their full retirement from public view after a full disclosure of exactly how much Posh n Elt have spent over the years on air flights and their hair?
• A Canadian person managing to get through an evening without complaining about being mistaken for an American? (You are fundamentally the same thing guys. Brian Adams and ice hockey do not maketh a real nation.)
• An Australian in London not shouting, or complaining about the cold/the lack of beaches/the expense of housing etc?
• mrs hhns saying "Oh just put it anywhere in the fridge darling. There is no real 'proper' place for stuff in fridges, or indeed any real rules or regulations on fridge storage. Just shove it next to the pickles or on top of that loaf of bread there"?
• Madame B managing to drag herself beyond vulgarity? (Although she did say something funny the other day. I've forgotten what it was. But it wasn't vulgar and it was funny. [See also below re blocking her comments.])
• The Waunch being able to hide the fact that a comment to hhn is from him? (Death to anyone who doesn't read books anyone?)
• Ken Livingstone sending out a press release starting `You are all right. I am a twat and I lost the plot a while ago and started thinking that it was you who were lucky to have me as your Mayor rather than me serving you. And re my annoying voice, I sincerely apologise...'
• God finally waking up and saying `What? Whaaaat? What on [my] Earth has happened to pop music? Why is it all so crap now?'
• The Devil doing ditto? (Smirking to himself that no-one has figured out that all those people who write musicals have not read their contracts either, and are gonna burn in Hell tonight, forever.)
• A shrew being asked to turn on the Christmas lights in Oxford Street?
• Steve Martin ever being funny again?
• That hhn movie ever getting the green light?
• Howard Devoto getting to Number One with a reworking of Generation Landslide?
• Me becoming a gerzillionaire with my emailing food contraption?

Who knows?

Incidentally, excellent site find from mrs hhn here. The Waunch, you are going to like this one.

And yes I could block Madame B's comments, but it would mean that I would have to block everyone's and it is a really dull process - involving approx three emails per comment - going through all the ones I want to accept and block. Sorry guys, freedom of speech - however pointless and vulgar - reigns here at hhn HQ.