Comedy Foods

Someone was asking about my reference to comedy lunches. (see Wish You Were Here?)

Well they would - for me - include:

1) Anything oak smoked
2) Greek food of any description
3) Sausages (obviously)
4) Crab sticks/prawn cocktail crisps/quavers/red onions/hummus/miso soup/Edam/bean sprouts/pumpkins - stuff that just doesn't taste like anything else in any way at all
5) Egg mayonnaise sandwiches
6) Corned beef - laugh, I nearly fell down the apple and pears mate
7) Tomatoes aka The Devil's Food. When eaten while watching daytime television you do actually just get sucked straight to hell from where you are sitting, via Trisha's studio for a quick grilling about your gambling/drink/drug/sex/glue/uniform/texting/lost father/found mother problem.
8) Gherkins
9) 'Picnic sized' anything
10) Anything that requires - or anticipates - any sort of drizzling

I like all the above (except tomatoes). They just put you into too stupid a mood to do anything other than sit on the sofa and twiddle your toes and/or play air keyboards to the first three Magazine albums.

Other men turned up this morning to do the kitchen. The sitting room is now filled with everything from the kitchen. It looks like an early, very bad, Cornelia Parker installation. Am not sure whether or not I should stay here, or go out and let them get on with it. I like to admit to the house husband stuff on my own terms, and I don't know these guys...yet. They are here for 10 days. [Note to self: don't try and become their friends.]

And the bedroom ceiling guy Steve is due back this morning too. Sensibly, my wife left the building early. She forced me to be in a good mood before she left, which is one of the many many reasons I asked her to marry me. Most other women would have gone to stay in a hotel round about the time I started referring to the ceiling guy by his first name.

Incidentally, went to see a headhunter/job agency on Friday. More on that later.